I waited for you to tell me what you really bothered you

I waited for you to tell me why you always canceled

I waited for you to tell me why you can’t tell me what you actually wanted and why you have sexy boots, and yet you weren’t seeing anyone and “you just got that item”

I waited for you to admit your struggles

I waited for you to let us work out our friendship in front of the counselor, not over the phone but in front of them so we would have the best results of working things out.

I came over and waited for you to realize the fact that I was there and to pay attention the fact that I came over just to see you until it was time to leave dejected because your phone was more important than our time together as friends.

I waited for you to go dancing together for the first time and thank me for watching Missy by going to see a movie.

I waited for you to sell your house knowing that I would be excited for you when the day came.

I waited for you when you were seeing other people to be able to shake the right guy’s hand.

I waited for you to thank me for our friendship

I waited for you to look me in the eye and say that your son would not be allowed to treat me with disrespect anymore

I waited for you to realize what we could have if you just allowed us to

I waited for you to know that I tried to respect the best I could, yet it seemed you were always looking out for yourself that I wonder if you had men you wanted to meet in Arizona and that’s the only reason why you agreed to do so.

I wonder why you bailed out at the Caverns and what you did for the entire day when it was your birthday and I was hoping my parents would celebrate it with you.

I waited for you to keep your promises only to wonder why I am still waiting

I waited for you to apologize because at least then when we said goodbye I would feel I had your respect

I wonder why I see a movie and so many lines are the exact same lines you have used, yet the one line you haven’t used about yourself is “they shouldn’t have done that”

I wondered why I haven’t been back to your church as if I wasn’t welcomed there to begin with to where it spoiled your birthday surprise.

I wonder why when we ate lunch even after all of that when you cried, who you were crying about and while its a selfish desire I wish it had been that we were no longer going to be friends yet you won’t give me the dignity to have a good exit.

I wonder if you were crying for yourself alone and that my arm around you to comfort you, meant nothing to you in that moment or when you recall that memory.

But most of all I wonder how we could have 3 hr skype sessions when not alot of people can understand that for our first actual conversation and the one thing that bothers me now isn’t the wondering or waiting its the effect it has on those around me still in my life and you care less yet some of those people are still in your life and you call them family. For when I see photos of you……….its like all the wondering and waiting amounted to naught yet it aged you and the man you are with makes you look younger at the same time but you also look happy and with that I am not only glad I didn’t get to shake his hand to say “Good luck sir, she is a great woman this is true” I even barely recognize you when I see photos posted by your loved ones. For I said it well the last several months I saw you, you didnt want people to see us in public in person.

And I waited for you to be honest, lest of all with yourself so you could be hones with me.

I waited Sandy, but I thought I knew you and know I don’t think I really did, because a friend wouldn’t keep me waiting but help me to stop waiting in 3 years time. A friend wouldn’t steal but realize that I was waiting for you to keep your promise. And a friend wouldn’t turn me away from their church knowing how I felt about it, but invite me into their church and a friend would be open about their emotions and struggles in our friendship and not make me wonder.