Many people date without dating their friend or the person they just met, here is why I want to date someone that is my best friend. I want to know that when I get to their door the word doorbell or why you didn’t knock didn’t enter their mind when you just walk in. To know where they are at in the house in that moment even two stories without being told.
To be honest I didn’t come up with that allegory, it was told to me. About 2005 I started having a repeated dream where I would go into someone’s house and I knew I was just able to walk in and the gal was downstairs kind of like a basement and She had been helping Her mom for a year to where she never got to go outside and got to play yet the gal’s skin was healthy and she was fit in every way as if she was entirely healthy by going outside but in the dream she never left the house. Yet it wasn’t because she had to it was because she wanted to that was just who she is.
It was followed up with and always followed up with I went into the house and there were alot of people there that were her family and I knew right away where she was because I knew Her that well.
Here is another thing, I want to know them that most people don’t understand or don’t get because they don’t take the time to get to know the real them. But you did and that is what they appreciate about you and you them. I want to be frustrated and angry that your siblings will never meet them because they are too selfish before they could have met her to get the chance to know about her.
And when you tell them you love them, they have let you seen their horrible moments they aren’t proud of, the moments that are hard to explain, and the moments that make them cry. But you have also seen the moments you are proud of and the moments that capture your heart so when you say I love you at the end of the day they can smile and say to themselves inside “yes, yes you do. For you know all about me and still love me”. And even when you are scared inside you desperately want them to see the real you. Your hilarious moments are the moments no one else would understand.
As someone once said
You know the AB (myself) but you don’t know the real AB.
I want them to know the real AB that Aaron is a title because it’s my middle name, but they more than any other call me by name because they know the real AB and I know the real them.
For me dating someone is not just to know about their mistakes, its also to know their doubts that no one else will ever know, its to know about their moments that are their worse moment in their eyes but to you its their best moment you think about. Its to allow you to see their imperfections, their scars and I don’t mean the one’s on their body I mean the one’s inside that you wouldn’t know unless they told you, its to know the parts that very few people get to see. Not because you got to spend alot of time around them, but because they allowed you to see it and when they are honest with themselves they wanted you to see it. Its to see the moments that they are at their worse and when you talk about them it doesn’t even come to mind.
Because for me that is how real intimacy happens no matter the disorder no matter if its Autism or something like bipolar or even if its schizophrenia because when they let you see all of that that is when trust is really built and that is the foundation of intimacy and when you make love its more special to the two of you than ever before.