When your in a relationship you should feel secure, you should feel secure that this person is just as faithful to you as you are to them. They should help bring out the best in you even though at times you want to pull your hair when they drive you nuts. You should feel secure when you aren’t around them that you don’t need to worry about what they are doing or not doing.
When it comes to communicating they communicate their doubts in a way that fits you both. When they tell you they are struggling with something it should be able to be heard as “I’m not doing so well and I don’t feel like I am measuring up to the person I want you to see in me but I need your support too. I’m struggling financially or I am struggling whether your cheating on me because babe I’m used to past boyfriends cheating on me. Its sharing that info that can help the two of you grow closer together, because I can tell you that I didn’t feel so great in sharing a burden with someone last night…….I didn’t feel like Superman, I didn’t feel like the guy that can conquer the world, and I didn’t feel attractive. But I can tell you for a fact, how they responded to it has allowed me to be more in awe than ever and I was in awe of them before but now even more so. When there is conflict, they want to work it out just as much as you and understand there can be communicating differences and when you tell them your disabled they want to understand your disability on their own not to pinpoint you down but to understand you more in that moment. They want to know how to help you be a better you.
This is not something I’ve learned in understanding their disability from someone else, its something I’ve understood from understanding myself. When a person takes the time to get to know what bothers you and why it can be time consuming and frustrating for the both of you especially when its something that you don’t quite understand yourself until later on. And to be honest, its easier to let things go when you understand their struggles are not them that are making it hard its what they are dealing with that is creating those struggles.
For example when I was working Graveyard, it often left me tired and exhausted and without a life for a long time. Understanding that I am not attacking you in that moment I am dogged tired and your making it hard for me to deal with it in that moment.
Feeling like superman is not something everyone is going to feel at all times…………but the best relationships aren’t the one’s where you always feel that way or when they always feel you are that way. Its the moments when you let yourself down and they are right there encouraging you on with their pom poms. Its the moments where they are disappointed in you but realize, just because you are superman alot of the time doesn’t mean you are superman all the time. Its not the ability to feel superman all the time that make the best relationships its the ability to not feel like superman all the time that make the best relationships. That’s when you really bond, when you have tears in your eye’s and can say “I feel like I failed myself” or “I feel like I failed you”.
Its the moments when the government screws up your rent and you realize that your rent is higher than what it should be yet in discovering the reason why you discover that is because of a glitch in the system. And that tiny glitch made your rent $300 more which for you feels like $3,000 more in that moment. Its the moments when you had a tough day and then you see them and they give you a hug and it helps you face the next moments. Its the moments when you rub their back and it felt so wonderful for that other person that they miss it soon after they say goodbye before your out of sight.
Its the moments you can make stuff fun not because you had a great fantastic day but you help bring out the best in each other. Its the moments you want them to discover something about you so you have them watch a video really important to you so you can do a hint hint.
Its those moments that leave you breathless, its those moments that when you didn’t feel like superman that they help you feel like you can feel greater than superman to face that issue. Its those moments that allow the two of you to bond closer than before. Those are the moments that last. Those are the moments that stick with you. When everything feels bleak and you fight for your relationship because you know there is some good in your relationship and its worth fighting for.