There are times I will ask someone to talk about something audibly and they think its because of their voice…………plain and simple that’s not the reason and it never is. You don’t just tell me your voice sound or if its bass alto, or even tenor. You tell me your emotions, your thoughts, your frame of mind. I can tell more easily if your frustrated and calm at the same time or if your angry and even if you and I are cool and just working something out. Things like background noise, how you pause your words before starting or in the midst of a thought tell me alot about what is going on. Your also telling me things like if your chewing on something, if your sleepy, or if its a good time for you. All of these micro-signals you don’t even realize my brain picks up on and helps me respond to you in that moment. Let’s say for example I say the wrong thing, I hear my own words and can correct it alot quicker because I am hearing my voice say the wrong thing to you if the person is understanding sort they will let it slide. What you see is strange in reality is normal because I can assure you things like text messages and messenger didn’t exist before late 20th century and things like autocorrect were unheard of.
Try this out for yourself imagine you have a great best friend and you understand each other very well and I mean completely well in fact you can mock each other and slam each other using certain phrases and still be respecting each other because you know that about the other.
Now let’s say your phrase is “fuck you” and they respond laughingly “well fuck you too” now imagine what that might look like by text messages only.
They are having a hard day, they contact you and are like “can we get together for coffee about something” and you respond with “fuck you” and your just about to add “see you at 7pm” when they see your first response and block you because what you didn’t know is they lost their job that day and need your support.
Now imagine they call you and their voice is shakey, their voice is quivery, and you can tell they are trying hard not to cry and get in control of themselves. Imagine them saying “can we get together for coffee” what is your response now? Its like “wow are you okay? *talk to the misses Jo almost never cries can we cancel our dinner reservation as I want to make sure he’s okay……She agrees as long as you go see a movie the same week and you both have been looking forward to this dinner* “Ya just talk to the wife, she say’s I can meet you tonight……..are you okay? Tell you what, tell me when and where you want it and its on me”
Your friend’s response is like “My gosh, thank you” and when you meet they tell you of how they lost their job and you bond over this incredible experience all by hearing their voice. Think about how close the two of you bonded in this moment and how the relationship drift that would have happened didn’t happen to start with because you heard each other’s emotions and thoughts.
When your blunt I still hear your text but when your blunt by audio I hear your respectness in your voice or how tired of you are of arguing. I hear your disrespect as you pin something on me that you know better or pinning because you think you know me so well and you think you do or what I did wrong but you really don’t. I hear the love in your voice as even while being blunt your still respecting me in that moment and caring about me as a person.
So when you say texting is a great way to solve an issue or get to know each other or to be on the same page or to connect as two people………….I don’t think you understand communication like you used to.