Dear leaders
It takes two to build two a relationship of any type and two to tear down, that is how it is normally but at times and if you are willing to do admit you will see its true that at times it takes one to tear down…………..in that scenario only one tore it down.

yes many times its The Aspie creating the issue esp if its a guy not understanding social norm. Why do leaders make excuses if a guy offends another guy, or a gal makes a guy feel uncomfortable..but almost never if it was in reverse

For those that have been profiled to feel that they were in the wrong often times when they were doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing. Imagine feeling that way but most people don’t know you feel it …….simply because your skin doesn’t show it only your brain’s wiring.

Don’t always side with the woman yes it may be his fault but i am reminded of the story in the book of Joshua where the 2 and 1/2 tribes build a memorial to remind the 10 and 1/2 tribes their contribution to the war effort and they almost went to war without strategic intelligence on the memorial in question….yes you may know this story but how many wars in the church have been created without the offended party having the right strategic intelligence? That is the most important thing you can have in conflict and don’t wait till the party in question goes to you because they don’t know what gossip you have heard or what is ailing your thoughts….many time people have gone to war with gossip in their ears because i wasn’t told what they were told or it wouldn’t be considered gossip. Gossipers never inform the accused party what was said and that my friend makes all the difference if you want to be a leader.

They may think you were told x,y,z when you were never told that. you may think they know what you were told but what the gossiper said and what you were actually told by the gossiper can be two different things. in the end the burden of proof to be found lies in you…………..the one gossiped. several times i had evidence that could be used to show the person what took place. There were times that several of them could go to someone that knew me much longer and say this is what was said………….what is your input. often that call or email alone would solve the dilemma.  Often the very next step afterwards would be to come to me and share what was said by Gossiper and by the known person and then be say what they trusted, didn’t trust, thoughts, and if they wanted any more input. You know how many people did that? None.

It wasn’t the gossiper that ended the relationship, it was the person that should have known better. The person that could have gone to me and should have.

In the end you should treat your small groups like relationships.