As someone on the spectrum that prefers the company of lady’s over the company of men as friends. One of the hardest things can be
1. taking it slow…..often we get so excited about the relationship that we move too fast than what is considered normal
2. not over-analyzing…..this is also hard not to achieve because when we have confusion over what the person is expecting or what is expected of us especially if we want to woo the gal and feel we have permission to do so
often times when I am pursuing someone knowing the expectations that are placed on us can be the hardest thing in the world…..we know from what you have told us that this is also difficult for you too as a NT however we so want to lead those women into blessing, honor, and gratitude, with grace, respect, and love. Knowing what is expected of us can be the thing that makes a difference. It can make a huge difference….there has been several gals I have pursued in the past 3 years or attempted to do so….Lady’s just like you have stuff that you are not open to share with us until 3 months of dating we may also have that in our own life.
Yes I know that is a “duh” moment but we so want to lead you, we want to be there for you even when you don’t even know that you want us to, we want to do right by you. We want to let you know early on that we have things in our life that we so want to tell you that we are just not ready to do so.
Often times You still want us to pursue You but the things in life get in the way of you letting us know how much you appreciate it. We understand this but can get confused esp in the dating game when you are losing interest or if you are.
We are very loyal to those that know us and know us well and will do anything in our means to support them while we know we are over-thinkers we try not to be and learn how to recognize it.
Like some of you we do often have meltdowns no we cant “snap out of it” while we would like to and love to often its caused by being over-stimulated and having a loved one esp during and/or afterwards coach us into understanding how to deal with it and how to make it easier for everyone to get thru that period of time. Before you assume “you are that person” we may not see it the same way and with all due of respect its not up to you as the major deciding factor…we ourselves have to want you to have that place in our life, however i would imagine depending on your personality your lover would welcome this especially in a dual-exclusive committed relationship.
If you yell we may be afraid of You, while for You its just “loud noise” depending on the person on the spectrum and their peer in question they may either invite it but most often that may not work for them. I personally have 1 peer that can be loud and confrontive and it took them 3 years to build up to that….it was not overnight and they took those 3 years out of the 5 years of knowing them to reach that point and to be honest i barely see the difference between the beginning and now….i have never felt attacked, challenged, or less than a man especially when this person is a lady friend. She knows very well if i do something wrong or need to be challenged doing it less around other people especially if its someone either of us or both of us know especially when they are older than a toddler really helps me out alot…the reason being is quite simple i feel less of an audience and due to that i feel less eyes are on me…this allows Me to open up more into what they have to say which to be honest is my sole purpose of allowing them to.
We know that often times social interaction disruptions are our fault and we have to own up to it…..while we want to work on this like no manana…I have had friends that I felt every time there was a disruption in the friendship it was all due on my end. because I have social disruptions it can never be on Her end, while we are friend’s at the time and only friends, the fact that everything seemed to be what I needed to do, what I needed to work on, what I needed to own up to.
That turned the friendship into a fable that we all know as The Boy Who Cried Wolf, it got so old after awhile that I no longer believed Her when She tried to explain…..Her correction carried less weight because it was all about what I had to do to change.
Be careful with this, you may have the best of intentions but do know that while You may want to just help them, just like with anyone choose your battles carefully and be willing to own up to anything that may have been a factor in the friendship. That will help put them on less of all the change is up to him and more on the level that the change is mutual……that it is in fact up to you both on how to go about this…….we want to do well for you but like I said if all the change required is on our end pretty soon we leave the temple that we call Goddess of Friendship and look for a whole new temple to get acquainted with